How to Rejuvenate Your New Year Resolutions

It’s only the middle of January and our New Year’s Resolutions are barely three weeks old. Those dumbbells are already collecting dust, that gym membership card hasn’t left its wallet-pocket and you still have 52 books to read this year. I believe this may be a universal experience effecting nearly every individual who sets out on the path to grasp their dreams through goals.

If this happens to so many of us, are goals even worth making? Can we really achieve that greener pasture?

Sure, we can. But it means we can’t give up this time.

In fact, today is the perfect day to renew — and in some cases reform — the vows we made to ourselves on January 1.

Here are six bits of advice I’ve collected (and used) that can help you make this year the most successful resolution-keeping one you’ve had yet.

Simplify.

If you’re anything like me, you can think of dozens of things you want to improve about yourself and your life. “I want to learn Spanish”, “I want to write a book” , “I want to overcome my fear of scuba diving.” These are all worthy goals, but if you cram too many goals into your life you’ll get overwhelmed and eventually, you’ll give up altogether.

So, how do we decide which goals to keep?

Which ones will make you happiest? We live in the real world where time does exist (even if Mariah Carey doesn’t acknowledge it), and money does not grow on trees. Simply put, our resources are limited and we have to decide what to do with our time. The best gauge to use is to decide what things will make us happiest.

Start by imagining your version of your happiest self. What does your body feel like? Where are you living? What have you accomplished? How much money are you making? Do you have a certain skill?

Write it down. Seriously, take out a pen and paper and write what you envision for yourself.

Now, look at the goals you made at the first of the year and get rid of the ones that don’t contribute to your target lifestyle.

Sometimes we want things because of other people. For example: we want a big house so other people will be jealous. We want a “summer” body because that’s what our significant other wants. Take it from me, these things don’t last. Even if you manage to ride off of that energy and get that body, if the lifestyle doesn’t grow from your core being, it’ll be gone and won’t contribute to that ultimate state you want to reach.

You can ask yourself: 1. Will this goal contribute to my dream lifestyle, or does it distract from it?

I also want to acknowledge that there are two types of goals: continuous, and complete.

Continuous goals are habits you want to form and lifestyle changes. Things you need to alter permanently, but that you encounter on a daily basis. For example: quitting your phone or staying at your optimal weight. These require consistency. It’s generally accepted that a habit is formed after three weeks of doing it consciously. After that, it becomes automatic for us. Because of the nature of these types of goals, it’s possible to pick more than one to work on. (I would limit it to 3 new habits to form, or break) for every successful 21-day period.

A complete goal is one you can work for and check-off. For example, sewing yourself an outfit, getting a degree, or saving for a new car. These things take constant effort until they are done. Then you can move on to something else. I like to measure these kinds of goals by hours. How many hours will they take out of my day/week? I decide what to work on from there.

Allow for failure — but don’t let it win.

After you know what goals you really want, you need to allow yourself to fail a few times as you reach for them.

In many areas, I’m a perfectionist. At least over the things I can control. So, I’ll make goals with gusto and passion and then three days later, I’ll mess up. “Well, guess I’ll try again next year!” Has been my mantra before.

But we can’t do that if we’re serious. Life is too short to put off things that will make us happy. So, if you fall, don’t stay down. Get back up and try again. If your method isn’t working — like you can’t shed those pounds or aren’t getting that book written — evaluate what is going wrong. Are you distracted in your writing? What emotional blocks might be keeping you from sticking to your new way of eating? Find the problems, write them down, then resolve them. Come at your goal another way. Do you need to wake up earlier in the day so you can write without distraction? Do you need to plan your meals in advance so you know what you can eat?

Use your environment as a tool.

The biggest hindrance to our goals is ourselves. Changing how we live and who we are requires significant emotional and mental exertion. It’s all inside, but as we alter our surroundings to make our goals tangible and visible, we increase our chances of success.

Make sure the movies, TV, music, and books that you consume are in line with your goals. Let’s say you want to stop eating sweets this year, sitting in front of Netflix’s Nailed It is not going to be a great idea because it’s all about desserts. Your subconscious is going to absorb the information and start to sabotage you.

Conversely, if you want to learn a new language, you can watch movies in that language. You can put sticky notes around the house identifying common phrases and objects written in your target language.

Research your goals, read about them. Consider surrounding yourself with people who either possess the traits you’re trying to develop or are on the same journey as you are.

Another powerful tool is the well-known concept of a dream board. The idea is that you cut or print out pictures that either are literally what you want (a specific house) or resemble what you want (a girl reading a book you wrote) and put them up. Either glue them to a poster board or tack them onto a cork board. Position the dream board where you will see it every day. You could put it in your room, on your ceiling, in the bathroom, at your desk — or all of these places.

Consider wearing something that will suggest to your mind the goals you’re striving for. I use rings. When I was 16, I went to Disneyland and decided that I wanted to live at Disney someday. I bought a Micky ring and promised myself not to take it off until I had accomplished my desire. I looked at that ring and envisioned my goal A LOT.

Now, I didn’t buy Cinderella’s Castle, but when I went to college, I discovered Disney’s College Program and ended up working at Disney World for a semester. I kept that ring until my first day of training as a cast member. (Oddly enough, I lost it shortly after.) Since then, I’ve developed a tradition of buying a ring for my goals with the purpose to wear them until they are accomplished. (I keep them and wear them still. But not every day.)

There are some habits that are so minute and ingrained in us that we start the day with a resolve to alter them and forget within a few moments. Goals to change an eating habit or a social media habit can be constantly challenged. If you really want to change them, I suggest a penny in your shoe. It’s annoying and will be a constant reminder to you throughout your day.

If you do this one, please don’t hate me every time you feel the coin slide around your foot.

But it works.

Write and rewrite your goals.

If you physically use a pen and paper and take a few minutes to write the goals you are working for in the morning, it will help structure and direct your day. If you write them at night, it helps your subconscious process them while you sleep.

When writing your goals, use “I” at the beginning of each of them. This cues you on a very deep level because you are the ONLY person that “I” refers to when you are the one writing. Then attach a positive emotion to it. “I am grateful.” Next, write your goal as if it is already happening or has happened. “I am grateful that I am an actor.” After the initial part, write details. “I am grateful that I am an actor who has starred in three films.” Finally, consider writing a date. “I am grateful that I am an actor who has starred in three films. March 19, 2023.”

In the process of writing your goals, take a minute to close your eyes and imagine what it would actually feel like. Continuing with the acting goal, imagine what it would be like to be on set. To work with your favorite director, to deliver first class lines in front of a camera. Even go as far as to imagine waking up at a certain time, driving to the studio, and working. The crisper you can visualize it, the closer it is to happening.

Be accountable to yourself (if no one else).

You increase your chances of keeping your goals if you have someone to tell. My aunt talks to her sisters once a week. They create a safe, non-judgmental place where they report if they accomplished their goals or not. My family has a group meeting once a month where we report to each other, but the most effective for me is the “goal tracker”.

It is basically a spreadsheet with goals on one axis and dates on the other.

Review it every morning and report to yourself every night. If you completed or worked on your goal, put a check mark. This is handy especially if you’re working on continuous goals and habits.

If you did it for most of the day, maybe write ½ on it to give yourself some credit. If you didn’t do it, write a big fat 0.

Finally, celebrate the baby-steps.

It might seem weird to write ½, but you need to do things like that to celebrate your victories. For particularly difficult and long-term goals, consider external prizes. Reward yourself for the “baby steps”. This gives you some extra motivation when you need it.

Over the past couple years, it has been discovered that attaching money to weight-loss can be very effective. If it works for weight-loss, it will probably work for other goals.

When I finished the first draft of my first novel, I bought myself a soundtrack. When I finally self-published it, I took my family out to eat at the Rainforest Café. These were small, but they worked for me.

I needed a bigger incentive to help me lose the baby weight after my third child. My husband developed a plan where he would take us on vacation when I reached my goal weight. We weighed in every week, and he would buy tickets to our destination as I earned them. I lost all the weight I wanted in exactly the time I wanted!

In conclusion, we deserve a better life. We deserve to be happiest. Don’t give up on your goals because you deserve and can achieve the greatest happiness attainable.